Transcending Loss

I look for joy, want to laugh again, want to experience joy but it’s not here yet. She’s coming, You promise a better day and that may not be this side of Heaven - I get it and joy may not be something I’m entitled to here on Earth.

It’s an element that my soul hungers for but may not find again. But then, did I have joy? Maybe it was fake joy, maybe I was kidding myself or putting on a good face - I have been known to do that to just “get through the moment”. But I am searching for TRUE joy and it may not be something I’ve ever experienced. On this new journey, this new path, my quest will be-true joy. The kind of joy that is beyond the best dessert, or hearing the most beautiful song ever, or seeing a beautiful piece of artwork, or a magnificent sunset…. I want true joy -the kind my mom has. She’s NEVER not joyful.

Her joy comes from inside and flows over - she makes me joyous when I talk to her, My Warrior Queen - she is in the fire daily and continues to smile and find joy. Joy in watching the birds in her back yard, joy in her flowers peeking their heads out of the ground in the Spring or a hummingbird or cardinal visiting her beloved back yard.

God doesn’t promise that we won’t suffer loss, instead He says we most certainly will, He did - what makes us any different? But He promises to be there in it with us if we ask. So I do, I ask for joy, joy from within the kind my Warrior Queen has. She drinks from the living well of life daily. She walks close with our Savior daily and know this is her source of strength, her joy.

God let me find my joy, it’s the only way I know to live this loss, to live it well. Don’t allow my loss to define me. Let me follow the example that is going before me.

Happy Second Heavenly Homecoming to my hubby today. You are missed.

“Weeping may last. through the night but joy comes with the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)