Here

It was a bittersweet trip for you I know, my sweet boy - it was so good for my soul to have your presence in this house. I know it’s hard so hard… trust me it’s hard every day here - and it’s only been 9 months.

Push pass this pain, first time home since the funeral. It was brave of you to want to be back at this house, this place we lived our lives together as the “Three Musketeers” for 20 years. I know the memories swirl around you and all the what ifs and could have beens are haunting. It’s still so hard to accept and to pick up and to go on…. will that ever change for either of us? I’m sure with time, the sting will dull - time heals right?

All I can give you in this is don’t lose sight of the work God can do in you and through you with this painful chapter we are crawling through. We are not alone on this journey!

Time seems to stand still so many days… I want this over, this heartbreak this cloak of darkness that can’t be shed - I want it off for both of us! I want happy, I want joy, I want good times without a dark cloud hanging above. I feel certain that will come for both of us … in time but the cost of this process is weighty.

All I CAN give you precious one, are words; encouragement to not let life slip through your hands; don’t get caught up in the grind and miss the why, the who, the where in what life really has to offer. Find your love, find your purpose, your passion and have no fear to grab it and hold on! I’ve always told you “20 seconds of courage can change your life!” It’s still written on our kitchen chalkboard wall!! Just do it babe, don’t second guess yourself - don’t waste a minute - that’s what we can learn from his passing. Live like the Oh man & don’t look back - take the Risk!

You make me a proud Momma Bear & I love you to the Moon & back!

Joshua 1:9 - Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.